Observations on the world today.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 

I had an idea today. Well, I have ideas all of the time, but this one was a good one.

Picture this. It’s Thursday evening. The democratic national convention is building to a crescendo. Somebody - maybe John Edwards (?) - has just announced, "The next president of the United States of America, John Forbes Kerry!" People are shouting and cheering. A camera holds for several moments on an empty stage. Finally Teresa Kerry walks out and silences the crowd. "I’m sorry," she announces, "but my husband will not be joining us inside the Convention Center. He is here in Boston, but he felt that he had a more important place to address us from."

A screen drops behind her, and we see the image of a cyclone fence enclosure. The image dissolves to a closer shot, and John Kerry is seen at the front of the cage behind the wires. "My fellow Americans," he says, "this is the free speech zone which John Ashcroft’s Secret Service agents insisted we build. It looks like a cage because they insisted on extra security precautions when we insisted if it had to be built it should at least be erected just outside the convention hall. I had hoped to be with you all to celebrate my acceptance of your nomination, and in fact, I do accept. But so long as dissent in America is only allowed in designated free speech zones, I feel that this is the proper place to be the standard bearer of our party."

From that point he could make whatever speech he has already prepared. The point is, something has got to be said about that deplorable pen. Even that stupid bitch Coulter took a swipe at us for it.
Apparently, the nuts at the Democratic National Convention are going to be put in cages outside the convention hall. Sadly, they won't be fighting to the death as is done in W.W.F. caged matches. They're calling this the "protestor's [sic] area," although I suppose a better name would be the "truth-free zone."
What better way to silence the critics and to dispel ALL of the myths about Kerry than by embracing the compound as both the symbol of what we are fighting against and the place we prefer to the complacency of Bush’s dissent-free theocracy? With one simple act, Kerry would define himself as brave, decisive, bold, and absolutely opposed to the silencing of dissent.

Now somebody forward this to the campaign quick. We’ve only got a few hours to arrange for the satellite feed.


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